i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
The 666th photo in my phone is of him and if that's not a sign that he's secretly the Antichrist, idk what is. Also, bring more rum.
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
I got drunk and bought a house last night. Also, I threw up on Mike's lawn. I'm pretty excited about one of those two things.
Randomize
