At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
There are dudes in kilts outside my window practicing fire breathing with cheap vodka and a modified grill lighter. I thought you should know.
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
Just delivered a pizza to a holiday inn and a delivery driver from Me n Ed's walked up at the same time, we both were going to the same floor so we stood in the elevator making small talk about delivery stuff, but a small part of me wanted to deck him, stand over him and shout,"FOR THE HUT MOTHERFUCKER, FOR THE HUT!"
Jesus christ, don't start a pizza delivery gang war.
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
Randomize
