he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
and then he said that some chick told him he danced like an epileptic on crystal meth. he then proceeded to demonstrate this statement, which i can testify is 100% accurate.
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
i dont even know how to be here
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
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