member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
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