Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
So much Jack, so little girl.
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
Oh and it’s been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! 😂😂😂😬😳😇
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