It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
he fucked my hip out of place.
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
As I am reading this. I'm standing in my underwear eating taquitos. I'm saying this in the most loving way possible: FUCK OFF.
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
Randomize
