Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
I seriously just forgot to push down the toaster twice in a row \n\nSo I've been waiting 8 minutes for toaster strudels that I haven't even started... Too high
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
Randomize
