happiness is walking an amphibious rodent on a leash
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
Randomize
