No awkward lesbian experiences without me
I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
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