I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
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