So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
So I have $4.22 in my bank account, just wrote a check for a tooth brush from quikmart, and bought a 25 cent condom from the bathroom. i don't know whats more sad, my bank account or the fact that i'm entrusting my entire future to a condom machine that was probably last filled in 1970
I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
I had not one but two drunk coworkers text me and hit on me tonight. I feel like I've finally been accepted into my dysfunctional workplace
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
Randomize
