is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
lol hangovers are for mortals.
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
Randomize
