We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
I told him he was, quote: "A big cuddly bear" and he needed to get into my bed or I would set his Golden Retriever free.
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
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