i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
I looked at her and said "I now pronounce you pumpkin tits"
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
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