We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
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