Have you finally orgasmed yet?
my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
We have started to decorate penises.
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
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