this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
There is a such thing as a wonderpuss octopus. Officially my new favorite animal.
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
We are finally out of the honeymoon stage of the relationship because it turns out that you can't come back from peeing on me in your sleep.
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
Randomize
