Why the fuck do they always fuck on couches in porn?
Don't ever text me while you're jacking off. EVER.
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
Apparently I thanked the paramedics over and over again for saving the "happy new year" beads that I was wearing
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