Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
I pour the whiskey from now on
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
Randomize
