Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
I thought my broken hand would put a damper on Halloween, but fake costume eyelashes and hydrocodone are kinda fun at the same time.
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
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