Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
I woke up to a quacking alarm clock and a rando in my bed. I told him I liked his cargo shorts. Fireball is not my soulmate anymore.
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
Randomize
