oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
The guy in front of me in line at Starbucks looks kinda like Danica Patrick except he has a huge boner.
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
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