jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
Randomize
