put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
Pants 0. Shit 1.
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
My boss followed me on Twitter. Excuse me while I delete 90% of my tweets
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
Randomize
