i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
My mom gave me a high five when I told her I was just using him for sex
You and your mom would make an amazing tag team
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
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