4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
You were pouring Patron into the window of the squad car trying to get the police dog to drink it
So thats why that cop beat my ass?
Probably
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
lol hangovers are for mortals.
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
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