babies were throwing up all over the place
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
Randomize
