Dude my mom stole all your condoms
Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
Randomize
