I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
Randomize
