You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
i told my grandma i broke up with my boyfriend. her reply " you need to play the field more anyway"
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
We found you passed out clutching your purse. There was 16oz of unopened cheddar cheese inside. You just kept saying SALSA YES.
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
I sent my roommate a text from MY phone that said, "I don't know where my phone is." Must've been a good night.
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
That moment when you’re at the doctor to give a sperm sample you’re only getting 3G so the porn is buffering
Randomize