If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
Randomize
