I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
Randomize
