I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
you wrote "5 million dollars" in the tip line for the pizza delivery man and insisted that he deserves it
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
Randomize
