There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
this is a mass text: i just made a grilled cheese with an iron and pasta with the coffeemaker in the hotel room. bow before your new god.
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Randomize
