I drank it, and now my boss keeps hitting me in the face with beams of light.
Tripping at your desk probably isn't the best plan you've had.
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
I was curling my hair today and I looked at my curling iron and thought...
You at least unplugged it right?
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
Bruh. You offered the cashier tater tots that you had stuffed in your pocket.
Yeah, and? She might've been hungry.
Randomize
