yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
Drunk yoga at 11 am turned into me sitting on the couch making fun of the girl in the instructional video. By the way, what the fuck is a third eye?
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
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