new low, i just stole money from my 5 year old sister to buy condoms
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
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