problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
I only remembered where urgent care was because it's across the street from my favorite bar
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
A drunk hobo just gave me a fist bump. Because I know what a womb is.
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
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