She just asked to stimulate my prostate, man law requires you come pick me up
normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
Randomize
