I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
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