Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
Randomize
