dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
barbara walters just said penis...
There was jim beam in your oven. I just preheated it.
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
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