I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
In a tragic sexting typo, I typed the word "blobjob". Now she's coming over and I have no idea what I'm in for...
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
If we don't have crazy animal sex tonight at least twice, I'll know he's cheating on me.
Who wouldn't want crazy animal sex with you?!
A cheater.
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
Randomize
