Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
Dear in laws. I am not spending any holidays with you. I dislike your company. A lot.
Randomize
