He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
Dude. My knees have no hair on them and they're bruised. My thigh is killing me. I have about 1000 texts to about 5 exes which I horribly regret. I have pictures of my own penis on my phone. I can't find my iPad. And I have work in an hour.
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
Randomize
