Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
You came in yelling "I'm el scorcho" and then axe can flamethrowered my dresser. Awesomeness aside, you owe me a new dresser.
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
Randomize
