Just had to reach into my sister's bag and shut off her vibrator so my parents wouldn't hear it. I am the world's greatest brother.
You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
Randomize
