Whyyyyy do my fingers smell like Chinese food.
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
You couldn't remember her number so you tried to dial her name into your phone. Once you realized you didn't know her name, you dialed 7 random numbers
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
New low: eating a buttered roll while taking a shit.
This is why we're soulmates.
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
Randomize
