I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
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