its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
Nothing says fuck you quite like putting your used condom in someones mailbox for them to find in the morning.
i just saw a man pushing two thirtys of beers in a stroller while his little kid ran to keep up. father of the year
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
She was drunk and naked on our couch, sweating and masterbating to SNL. We made eye contact and she didn't even stop. It's new-roommate-o-clock
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
Randomize
