He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
Randomize