Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
his mom walked in while I was blowing him. he turned around in panic and accidentally punched me in the face. i have a black eye and only half the clothes i came here in. can you give me a ride?
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
For dinner, I'm having saltines, canned whipped cream, and beer. Are we sure I'm responsible enough for home ownership?
I named my Roomba after my pot dealer. I have a problem, don't i?
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
I just woke up in his bed.. in a cardboard castle, with a Justin Bieber poster on the ceiling staring down at me, cuddling with 4 empty PBR cans. I win.
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
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