i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
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