oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
Randomize
