I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
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