I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
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