I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
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