i'm telling everyone you had sex with a puerto rican drug lord
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to pick up rum, beer, and cigarettes. Your holiday will self-destruct if you ignore this message.
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
Randomize
