in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
She carried my bag of puke down the aisle and the flight attendant wouldn't move the beverage cart so she put the puke bag in the flight attendant's face and said "I have a bag of sickness!" I've never seen a cart move that fast.
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
Just went to Meijer. Purchased furnace filters, fishing line, red lipstick and pregnancy test. And if my purchase alone wasn't classy enough, I took the pregnancy test in the Meijer bathroom because Im on my way to the bar and wanted to know if that was a good idea or not. Cheers to no babies!
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
Randomize
