Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
You know you've been on Tinder too long when you're the guy cropped out of the profile pic. Of a woman you're still seeing...
Randomize
