There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
Randomize
