ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
The girl who comes up after me always strips to Lana Del Rey. I didn't think working in a strip club could be any more depressing.
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
Randomize
