HIV tests are more positive than that guy
watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
I just tried to light a cigarette with a tube of lipstick. If I had stayed in girl scouts maybe I could've made that happen.
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
Randomize
