thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
I get a nice feeling when i open my fridge and see it filled with thirty beers and half a leftover jimmy johns pickle.
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
Randomize
