I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
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