like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
If a cop asks you "Where do you go for fun?", it's not a pick up line...especially if he just pulled you over.
Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
I'm just crazy horny about you
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
Randomize
