I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
Who put my cat in the fridge?
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
Shame is for Republicans.
Randomize
