I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
Randomize
