You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
We couldn't find him for like 4 hours. Turns out he was sitting under a tree and had thrown his phone in a lake because he couldn't figure out how to unlock it. Freshmen.
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
My office already closed tomorrow. I'm bout to get drunk and build a muh fuckin fort. I shall call it "Fort Fuck You, Sandy, You Fuckin Bitch"
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
You were trust falling into bushes
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
Randomize
