don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
You slapped the bar and yelled "daddys thirsty!" at the lady behind the bar
To be fair I was thirsty
When she told you not to yell you looked directly at me and screamed "Man, she sucks!"
Last time I was your wingman I had to deal with a girl whose only interest in my body was to clip my toenails. I'm not interested.
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
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