your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
he asked me if i "normally slept like that" because i was curled up in a ball facing the wall. then he told me that i woke up in the middle of the night and said "oh my god. i forgot you were here." how did he not understand that i didn't want him in my bed.
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
MY DINNER LAST NIGHT CONSISTED OF SEMEN AND A PROTEIN SHAKE... MY TRAINER WOULD BE PROUD I DIDN'T HAVE CARBS!
Randomize
