Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
I looked at her and said "I now pronounce you pumpkin tits"
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
Randomize
